Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Repeat

I posted this article this time last year. I was writing in the slot for my mom's club for a local parenting magazine in WV. Since we moved and have a whole different circle of friends and since no magazine is asking me to write an article this year, I doubt I write a new one. And even though some of the details have changed... Broken leg, move to another state, baby that started walking at eight and a half months, and the most recent: phone in the toilet (it does still work by the way), my wish list for Santa hasn't changed since he didn't come through for me last year. So once again, my letter to Santa..

Dear Santa,

I’m writing to let you know that I have been a very good mom this year. I have survived a pregnancy with no morning sickness (it was all day long sickness). I navigated two stomach viruses, many colds, and some kind of rash. I have become very skillful at detecting cups of milk left under my daughter’s bed, fishing keys out of the toilet, getting bubble gum out of hair, and hiding happy meal toys under the trash in the garbage can. I have learned how to put a band-aid on the boo-boo of my preschooler while I change my newborn’s diaper and how to make boats out of apples so that I can get my child to eat a nutritious snack. All of that...and today, I’ve even showered.

In return for my good mom behavior, I would like to order a self-cleaning bathroom. I could send you the design if it would help the elves. This bathroom would be completely covered in tile and would have a drain right in the middle. Instead of only the toilet flushing (which never happens at my house) the whole room would flush. It is imperative that the drain be made at very specific measurements of 4x6 inches. This would ensure easy disposal of the hundreds of tiny toys that have invaded my bathroom and the globs of toilet paper that has resulted from the developmental milestone I celebrated when my toddler learned how to unroll a brand new roll in one fluid motion. Also, these dimensions would guarantee that I won’t accidentally “throw the baby out with the bath water.”

I realize that even Santa has a budget and will have an even tighter one once you receive my kids’ Christmas wish list but...hey, a mom can dream right? If this is too large of an order, I would settle for good health and blessings to my fellow hardworking moms who have also merited a self-cleaning bathroom.

Dana Ellis

Thanks for indulging me. Especially those of you that just read that the second time. And HERE my friend is a link to several free samples that can be requested from Walmart.


hyperactive lu said...

So funny!

The Tyree Family said...

You're too funny! I think you should have edited the letter to include my idea of the floor with the continuous low level vacuum around the perimiter of the room to constantly be sucking up the crumbs and bits of whatever that keep accumulating on the kitchen floor!

Sara-Beth said...

Love it! Can we add an automatic laundry washer, dryer, folder, and put awayer? (Is that even a word?)

Trey and Stephanie said...

yeah that sounds a lot like my life too! makinna is 25 months..its a whole different world! glad its not just

Supabloggasuprememama said...

Thats hilarious. I would liek one of those too.

Javier said...

hey did you get the self-cleaning bathroom in the end? hahah

Happy 2009!