TEACHING KIDS A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE ABOUT SEX

Guest post for Jesus Needs New PR..


 Thanks, to my mom and dad for the inspiration for the following article. Sorry I exploited your sex life for my fifteen minutes of fame ;).

TEACHING KIDS A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE ABOUT SEX
by Dana Ellis

After a long day of playing outside with my then, three-year-old, and fervently re-applying sunscreen to her delicate skin, I was sporting a nice little sunburn of my own. As I was standing their in all of my naked glory, while my husband applied one of God’s miracles, aloe vera gel, Emma pranced into the room. With worry in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Don’t let daddy see your bottom”!! Since she was getting older, we had began to try to break her, much loved, streaking habit by trying to teach her the importance of modesty. No wonder, she was confused about my lack of modesty in front of someone not on the list of acceptable people to see your bottom: IE: doctor, daddy, etc..

My husband and I looked at each other with a look that said, “Wow, what do we do with this one” while at the same time, trying to hold in a little snicker at the thought of “being caught.” In the hastiness of trying to make a decision on having to deal with the issue at hand, I looked down at her and laughingly said, “It’s okay for dad to see my bottom. He’s my husband. One day, you’ll be married and your husband will like seeing your bottom too”. Because of the look of surprise from my husband, maybe even shock, I could no longer hold my laughter. And though both my daughter and my husband stood there looking at me like my hair was on fire instead of my skin, I felt sure that I had said the right thing.

After ten years in ministry, I have seen many, many Christian women that struggle in their sexual relationships with their husbands. At first, this phenomenon took me by surprise. A lot of the women that I have spoken to about this issue followed all the rules, saving themselves for their husbands. Therefore, I was shocked that with them having “followed all the rules”, they didn’t have the most amazing sex life possible.

But, after having some time to analyze this situation, I came to believe that after years and years being told , “sex is bad, sex is bad”, many women, maybe men too, are unable to make the jump to, “oh, you’re getting married? Sex is GOOD”..

Though I can’t express the number of times I rolled my eyes in disgust at my parents as a teenager, I am so thankful for the display of affection that they displayed on a regular basis. Though it was not inappropriate in any way, I was very aware that they were intimate and it wasn’t just my dad that enjoyed it but my mom as well. I have thanked God many times since I’ve been married for the healthy view of sex that He gave me through witnessing my parent’s relationship.

I don’t believe that “sexual purity” is a bad thing to want for our children. But, I do believe that this goal alone is anemic. I pray that my husband and I, like my parents did me, teach our girls that sex is a wonderful, gift that God gives to married people. Teaching them will, no doubt, include the fact that sexual impurity cheapens that gift, leaving it less than the blessing that God designed. But our prayer for our girls, is not only, that they remain “sexually pure” but, that my husband and I will display marriage in the way that God intended it to be. And, that they will in turn, live a lifestyle that will help them to fully embrace the blessings that God desires so badly to give them.

Dana Ellis
"Thoughts on Life and Dirty Diapers"

Tuesday's Tips and Tricks-- Back to School

Top 10 Back to School Jitters and Easy Solutions
Are your kids coming down with a bad case of back to school jitters?

Here are our kid-tested cures for the top 10 school worries!

By: Kit Bennett and the Bennett kids


1. New Classmates
Your attitude is everything. Share from?your personal experience
of making new friends.
"A new room?of classmates is like going into a mansion
with several doors. Open each door and see what's inside.?
You may find a treasure of friend!"

2. New Teachers
Try to schedule a brief introduction time with?the teacher a few days
before school starts. Often just seeing the teacher and the room will ease concerns. Speak positively about the new class and the exciting year ahead. Your enthusiasm will give them positive outlook.


3. Being Prepared
Some children worry about having all of the supplies they need to get through the day. Enlist your child in?the planning for the first day of school?this gives a sense of control and independence. Organize supplies, clothing, lunch money and snacks the night before school to ensure a smoother start to the day.

4. Getting Lost
It is extremely comforting for younger students to visit their new school ahead of time in order to see their new classroom, or walk down the school's hallways before the hustle and bustle of the first day. Many schools provide a day during registration or the week before. Call your school office to make arrangements.

5. The Bathroom
You can help by making sure your child knows where the bathrooms are located, how to take care of his/her bathroom needs independently (leave the zippers, snap leotards and more complicated jumpsuits in the drawer).
If your child expresses concern about meeting up with new,
or older children, help develop and practice brief responses to any comments or inquiries she might encounter. Practicing social situations ahead of time is always a great way to develop confidence and problem-solving skills.?

6.Making the Grade
Children can "stress-out" about the workload or the increasing level of difficulty of a new grade.?

Reminders of academic and or personality strengths are in order here.
Let your child know you and the teacher are there to assist and encourage their efforts. Being assured of parental support during successes as well as failures can aid a child's overall academic performance and develop trust.
Stress the importance of excellent efforts instead of grades,?
and the value of learning as opposed to "performing".
If the fear of failure exists from past performance, provide appropriate support systems: tutoring, extra study time or special placements.

7. Lunchtime
Children come up with cafeteria worries that you never thought of....
How will I pay for my lunch? - Where will I sit?
What if I don't finish...or don't like the food.
First tip- Send in a lunch from home as long as you need to.
Be sure to pack food your child likes and in packages he/she can open---
One year, in an attempt to be earth friendly, I bought several reusable containers that?my youngest could not open; poor thing went hungry the first two days.
Before the first day of school, ensure that your child's little hands can tackel chip or cracker bags, juice containers, sandwich boxes etc.
Cafeteria Aides may not be able to assist them.
- When they are acclimated to their new dining arrangements
they may show interest in buying lunch.

8.Fashion
Although I hate to admit it....this matters to kids---
especially in the older grades.?
Before shopping, go through catalogs and magazines to
get?an idea of what your child wants to wear. Encourage?independent style and self expression.?Working as a team in this area can be frustrating,
but if your child likes their wardrobe---everyone is happier.?
And don't forget to refer to your school dress-code regulations.

9. Scheduling
Address concerns about dropping off, picking?up and after school plans clearly and repeatedly. Older "latch- key" students should practice the routine before school begins. Middle school students who worry about changing classes, lockers etc. may only need a few reminders that everyone is?in the same boat. Most schools have a couple of days for practice.

10. Getting To and From School
Have you ridden on a school?bus lately???
It can be overwhelming to say the least!??
The noise, "big-kids" and confusion combine to make riding the bus a?very
common fear for younger students. Especially very young students, who cannot even see out the window to ensure they are at the right stop. There are several solutions to this dilemma:
-First decide how important it is for your child to take?the bus.
Many students get a ride until second grade.
- Drive the route several times before school starts.
- Obtain the bus number from your district office before school starts.
Practice this number ahead of time.
- Invite the neighbors to have a picnic at the bus-stop.
- Listen to your child....if they are frightened, address the problem
with the bus-driver and supervisor.?
On a Personal Note...
When my son began first grade he was so excited about the bus ride.
It took a week for the novelty to wear off. Soon he was arriving home
with complaints of headaches, stomach aches and getting bullied
by "big-kids"
Although his driver was a caring fella' he simply could not drive safely
in addition to addressing the needs of every child. Complaints from my son increased and soon he "hated" school in general. After talking to his teacher we realized it wasn't the school day, but the bus-ride.?His teacher very
gently asked my husband and me,
"Is it necessary for him to ride the bus?"
Well ....DUH! - of course not - Problem Solved!
For the remainder of the year, I provided rides not only for him but several other kids in in class as well.
It simply wasn't worth ruining his academic attitude.

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