Saturday, August 27, 2005
Ok, Emma has officially hit the terrible twos. In the past week my little angel’s body has been invaded. I think I will refer to it as her first adolescence. She is definitely wanting to state her independence. She’s not quite big enough to slam a door or roll her eyes but she can sure put out a mean scream. After two big battles today, both about going to bed, one for nap, and one for the night, she is quietly laying in her bed looking like my little angel again. All of the sudden, she wants to do everything by herself, get into everything she’s not supposed to, and really let me know about it if something doesn’t go her way. Today, she wrote on her dresser with a Sharpie marker (yeah, those Mr. Clean magic erasers aren’t quite as good as they say) To go anywhere, I have to allow an extra hour to get there because she wants to pick out her own clothes, put them on herself, put on her own shoes, turn out the lights, open the door, get in her car seat, shut the door, and buckle herself in the car seat, all by herself. None of these things she can actually do by herself so I have to wait until she actually tries it and sees that she can’t do it alone, and she surrenders to needing my help. And, we have done this repeatedly. Even after all of this, I still have this over whelming love for her and I know my life is so much more wonderful than it was before she was in it.
There are quite a few lessons I could take from this. One being humbleness, yes, I had heard other mothers talk about temper tantrums but since my little Emma had always pretty much pleasantly obeyed, I thought we were above that (man I knew better than that). But, what I’m really wondering is, how often do I seem like a two year old to God. Running around messing things up, trying to handle things myself and then whining to God when it doesn’t go my way. And what’s worse, I do these things over and over again. All the while, God is standing there patiently waiting for me to figure out that I need to surrender to him and give him the control. Then, he picks me up, pats me on the head and lets me rest in his love.
God thank you for showing me in such a wonderful way my need for you. Please help me to rely on you!
One thing is for sure, I’ll be resting in his love tonight. After wrestling with a two year old all day, I’m too tired to do anything else.