Anyway, since I have absolutely nothing deep or moving to share because I can't stand another ounce of seriousness right now, I'll share what I wasted my time amusing myself with yesterday.
My sister sent me one of those survey e-mails.. You know, "2011 Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends and Family".. Well, since I filled out at least 2011 of those surveys during our time in youth ministry trying to make sure I didn't hurt a single teenager's feelings, I usually skip these things from adults thinking that they can take the rejection... But, my sister put a little personal pressure in there saying I was the "most likely to respond"and there was the part in the directions that said to be honest and not be lame and mess up the fun... Am I the only one that sees the irony in that statement? Anyway, I didn't want to crush my sister's high opinion of my dependability so, here is my response..
Welcome to the new 2011 edition of getting to know your family and friends.. Here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun--this means YOU!
Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.
Some of you may get this several times; that means you have lots of friends. The easiest way to do it is to hit 'forward' so you can delete and change the answers. Have fun and be truthful!
What color are your socks right now? orange, that's all they let us have here
Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.
Some of you may get this several times; that means you have lots of friends. The easiest way to do it is to hit 'forward' so you can delete and change the answers. Have fun and be truthful!
What color are your socks right now? orange, that's all they let us have here
What are you listening to right now?
The lady in the cell next to me singing "Stormy Weather"
What was the last thing you ate? Not sure... Mystery meat?
Can you drive a stick shift?
unfortunately yes. That's what got me in this place. Grand Theft Auto.. and all over a candy apple red Dodge Dart.
Last person you spoke to on the phone? "It's me again Margaret".
Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Everyone has some sick affection for their mentors don't they?
Everyone has some sick affection for their mentors don't they?
How old are you today? Old enough to know better but still to young to care
What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Demolition Derby
What is your favorite drink?
RUM
Have you ever dyed your hair? only when I needed a disguise after the bank robbery
Favorite food? Anything that isn't roadkill
What is the last movie you watched?
"The Longest Yard"
Favorite day of the week? Sunday, that's when my baby daddy visits
How do you vent? scrub toilets--- with a toothbrush
What was your favorite toy as a child? a tatoo gun
What is your favorite season?
salt
salt
Cherries or Blueberries? yep
Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
Down to my last friend. I knocked the others off.
Who is the most likely to respond? my probation officer
Living situation just me, Thelma and Louise
When was the last time you cried?
when "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"
What is on the floor of your closet right now?
a chalk outline
a chalk outline
Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
you, "friend"
What did you do last night? Lets just say I don't think I'll be allowed back in that Walmart
What are you most afraid of? small tight spaces and a woman named Butch
Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
yep
Favorite dog breed?
hot
Sweet or Salty? yep
How many states have you lived in? let's see-- state of paranoia, state of distress, state of annoyance, state of denial, state of confusion.... Hey, tonight is the state of the union!
Diamonds or pearls?
yep
What is your favorite flower? self-rising
