Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Chloe Annie....

She's really Chloe Anne, named after my mother. I don't know when I developed the habit of calling her that.

Not a whole lot of new information on her. She's still being her wild little self. No more fevers, no more rash so I'm thinking that at least that part of it was Roseola. We have a friend from church that is a nurse in the ER. He listened to her heart and could hear the irregularity. He said that it sounded like she had a sinus arrhythmia. Which I'm finding from all my reading is not that uncommon and usually isn't dangerous. He said that we will probably have to have an EKG and maybe even an Echo just as protocol. Which is fine with me because I would rather know she's okay than just guess that she is. And then if it's something more serious, I guess we'll know what direction to go.

Everyone keeps asking me how I'm doing.. I'm doing good. I've talked it out with God. On second thought, I don't know that it's my faith that is as much of a problem as my will to surrender. I know He is God, I know He has a plan but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it. And, if He lets something happen to my Chloe girl, we're going to rumble. That may seem blasphemous to you.. If it does, get off your high horse and read Psalms.. I've been sorting to through a whole host of emotions and I guess tonight's pick is feisty.

On a more serious note, When I re-read my previous post, I looked at the part about the church and then I looked at the part about Chloe and realized how random it all seemed and I want you to know that it was not. They are both very much connected.

I walked in there Sunday morning and I knew that my fears were going to be met with nothing but love and concern. One of our elders said the most beautiful prayer over her where he talked about all the things that have played out in my mind. He prayed for her future husband, and all the plans that He has for her. I got the sweetest e-mail from someone today. It seems as everyone else has it on their heart right along with us. I can't be certain where this path will lead but I know that we won't walk it alone. That kind of security means so much.

This video was taken before we knew anything about her heart beat. But now that I watch it knowing, I wonder if the problem could be not that she's not getting enough blood flow but that she's getting too much. At the end of most days, I'm the one that feels like a cardiac patient because of a full day of chasing her.