I'm going to go ahead and say it because "Desperate Housewives" says it needs to be said. Not only do I sometimes feel like a bad mom, I also LOVE "Desperate Housewives".. And if you're judging me for that, all I can say is: You need to watch "Desperate Housewives". It is the ONLY TV show that has a standing date on my calendar...
And this is why:
Oh and I'm a liar too.. Because this totally is not for all moms! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE comments from people that agree.. And if you don't, I hope you wake tomorrow with gray hair and boobs that are even more saggy than they were today !
I remember seeing that DH episode and it was a LITTLE too real for me.... Uhhh...... life...... No more comments from me, because if I start, I won't stop and I'll be sobbing by the end of my comment! LOL
Love you girl! And just for a pat on the back from a friend, you really are a wonderful WONDERFUL mother!
I announced just last night that since no one likes what I cook, that I was leaving on a LONG vacation. LOL The oldest said, "but who will cook for us?" My response: "You don't eat it anyway, so what's the big deal?" After that, I got the stink eye from BP, so the conversation turned another way. How's that for a bad mother? I admitted defeat to my children and suggested that I run away. hmmm Seems as if we are all human and feel like failures....
On a totally different note, I told Chloe to tell you hi for me today at school. Did she deliver the message? :)
Last week I discovered that my four-year-old daughter can't cut out simple shapes. Apparently, this is a skill they should have mastered by this age. How did I not know this, you ask? Because I don't pay attention to other kids/I have no idea what is an appropriate skill level for any given child/She's never been to pre-school/(insert any excuse for ignorance here). Needless to say, I was mortified when her teacher told me I needed to help her work on cutting; but WAY WORSE than that, my daughter was embarrased and frustrated that she couldn't do what the other kids were doing. Talk about a "bad-mama-slap" in the face! I really felt like I failed her by not teaching her more basic skills in the four precious years that I had her all to myself at home...I thought that playing tea party and Candyland was enough.
1. I love DH, and I think that Moms that say that they don't like it either
a)have never watched it (because they heard it was bad) or b)are lying
2. I, too, remember watching this epidode and crying! It's so true - there are so many people that look like they have it all together, and it just gets so dang intimidating. I don't know why Moms feel the need to look like they have it all together...
3. With that said --- I totally know why they feel that way, and I was lying in #2. It's b/c if they act like they don't have it together, then they will undoubtedly run into that 'mompetitor' that makes them feel like a failure, like they are the world's worst Mom.
4. To those Moms out there, I'd like to say PLEASE GET REAL - Because I know better --- I know that you've got a drawer in your house that isn't organized, and you've fed your kids McDonalds on occasion, and you've been late to ballet, and you've left the house without make-up (and maybe even without brushing your teeth) --- and if you're like me, you've done that all in one day! :) and it's OKAY! It doesn't mean you're a bad Mom, it means you're a human --- and no one wants a robot for a Mom anyway.
I could go on and on about this -- So thankful for the friends in my life that aren't afraid to admit their shortcomings, they're wonderful people that I couldn't live without.
I've seen DH...but not regularly. I don't remember seeing this episode....but its so true! Holy crap do I hate those people who act like they've got it together. I'm related to one and would just love to be a fly in her life. Just for a few mins
This is totally one of my biggest soap box issues...I don't know why as women we feel like we have to one up every other mother on this planet. We should be helping each other, sharing secrets, tips, advice and by george letting people see our dirty houses. We all struggle and that is perfectly okay! We should be building each other up, NOT tearing each other down. With that said here is my dirtiest of laundry:
I once left my probably 2-3 month old (I don't even remember) in the car while I went in the store and shopped. It was TOTALLY by accident. I was taking care of my grandmother, was sleep deprived and smooth walked into the grocery store like I didn't even have a baby. I shopped for like 15 minutes, came back out and ONLY then realized that she was still in the car. I thanked God that it was not hot outside...it was a very cool morning and she slept through the whole thing but I did it. I love my children, would give my life for them and I left my daughter in the car! So, before we one-up every other mom and shame them for their parenting maybe we should all think about ourselves. Okay, stepping down from my soap box. Dana thanks for letting me share!
Considering that I just came out of year that I HATED! I really truly hated my life, your post rings so true. At times, I even felt I hated my kids. But the year is over and I actually enjoy them, now. Still wouldn't wish 3 kids in 2 years on ANYONE!
Oh girl! You are too funny! I know you probably know what I'm going to say because I think I am Lynette - or pretty close to it (with a few less kids and no secret drug addiction....yet,lol)- parenting is sooo hard! I have been wise enough to realize my limitations and never have been under the impression that I'm good at it. But its so nice to have this out there to remind us to support and love each other through this!! Thank you!
No, no, no, no, NO. You got it all wrong!! *I'm* a bad Mom. If you listen to my children... I'm never there for them, don't ever buy them anything, don't do crafts...blah, blah, blah.
You, my friend, live in a castle, have the *coolest* van, give your children donuts for breakfast *every* day, play fun games with your kids and *BRUSH* their hair. I do believe you are confused. You meant to write that *I* am a bad Mom and that you were going to call DFCS as soon as you're finished with the sing a long that ya'll are doing! ;)
Seriously though...Motherhood is the hardest job ever, and it takes a LONG time before you get to see the results. Hang in there Momma!!
I'm sad I have never seen DH. It may become my newest addiction.
The two moms doing the comforting truly "look" like they have it more together than the one bawling her eyes out. I know I'm in the thick of it because their tiny little admissions would have given me no comfort.
Let's see, what can I confess...that I have been the bitch trying to hide it all and keep it all together. And damn well. As in yes there were drawers that were in NO way organized! Whole closets. whole rooms. I have nearly killed myself being sure my children watched no television, ate no take out, consumed little sugar. blah blah blah. If you've been around me five minutes you know I am little-fun-lotta-anal.
Go easy on the bitches. If you can't look them in the eye and give them a gift they desperately need then stay away from them. Maybe one day we will hit bottom and give it up!
Often I let my kids veg out in front of Sponge Bob and eat straight sugar filled snacks, so I can play on facebook. Sometimes I joke about it being a coping mechanisim, to keep me sane. Truth is, I'm addicted to facebook and need to get off my lazy butt and play more with my kids. Being a mother is the hardest job in the entire world. Along with the stress, is an equal amount of guilt. It's satan, ladies. We can't let him get to us! Easier said than done. I'll be praying for all of you tonight. We need to ban together more as Mothers. This job sure would be easier if we did. Love you, Dana! Thanks for being a great example to us, and helping to get us moving in the right direction.
Dana, Thanks for doing this post. My son is ADHD and I homeschool. School is a struggle for us, sometimes taking twice as many hours as it should..... to the point I struggle with even wanting to do it some days. Right now, it's 10AM and I'm still in my PJ's because both kids had bad dreams and ended up being in my bed at some point in the night. The ADHD makes Mikey really hyper and impulsive...... so in some ways I still have two toddlers when he is having a really bad day. I decided to homeschool because I had this fear of my son being left behind in the school system (I saw it happening) and it broke my heart when they just told him he "wasn't smart". So I homeschooled. Now I'm afraid that I really don't know what I'm doing and it stresses me out that I don't have much time for my daughter, who is showing signs of being advanced (she's already picking up sight words at 29 mo) but I really don't have much time for her when I'm spending all my day between house work and lessons, so she sits in front of the TV watching Dora and Diego. We are also trying to pay off debt (which a large part is student loans which makes me feel guilty for since I'm not earning any money) so I feel putting her in MDO would take away from that goal.
So in the end you can say I relate. Thanks for posting this. God Bless you, dear. :)
A. I'm glad I'm not going to hell for watching Desperate Housewives (which Michael calls my "smutty show").
B. I remember being tearing up watching this when it came on TV. We all need to support each other, not critique or judge.
C. It's 10:37 a.m. and I'm still in my jammies and have a million other things that any better mom would be doing than reading blog posts on the computer!
OK. Here is my 2 cents... Speaking as one of the mothers who KNOWS she does NOT have it together, I think it is not the other mom's fault that they SEEM to have it all together. Nobody wants to admit that they don't know what they are doing. It's like when we were in school, you got laughed at when the teacher called on you and you either answered wrong or worse, said you didn't know! We learn at a young age to LOOK like we have all the answers. I personally don't know anyone who would say,if asked, "Yeah. I am that good!" We all put on a "show" for others. It's not til you go to someone's house or really get to know them that you figure out... they are in the same boat as you! All that said, I have seen some moms who make it look SOOOOO easy. And I do wish I at least could fake it as well...but oh well. I guess my kids are going to grow up in a messy house, eat some things that are NOT good for them, not brush their teeth some nights because mommy is just too tired, etc. I guess I won't be the mom who has even the kitchen sink in her purse for any and all emergencies, I WILL be late to some special events and forget to sign the permission form, etc. But I KNOW, and more importanly, MY KIDS, will know that their mother loves them and would do anything humanly and sometimes inhumanly possible for them. All we can do at the end of the day is ask, "Are my kids loved? Do they know I love them?" I have as many if not more insecurities about being a mom than you do, because MY mom didn't see fit to ask those two questions. Be good to your kids,love them, help them,listen to them, kiss and hugs them. Trust me... when asked when they are adults if they had a good childhood and if their mom was a "good" mom, they will not be thinking about the messy house, or the burnt supper on Tuesday.
Now,my kids will be home in approx. 4 hours... anybody have some valium? lol JK!
15 comments:
I remember seeing that DH episode and it was a LITTLE too real for me.... Uhhh...... life...... No more comments from me, because if I start, I won't stop and I'll be sobbing by the end of my comment! LOL
Love you girl! And just for a pat on the back from a friend, you really are a wonderful WONDERFUL mother!
I announced just last night that since no one likes what I cook, that I was leaving on a LONG vacation. LOL The oldest said, "but who will cook for us?" My response: "You don't eat it anyway, so what's the big deal?" After that, I got the stink eye from BP, so the conversation turned another way. How's that for a bad mother? I admitted defeat to my children and suggested that I run away. hmmm Seems as if we are all human and feel like failures....
On a totally different note, I told Chloe to tell you hi for me today at school. Did she deliver the message? :)
Last week I discovered that my four-year-old daughter can't cut out simple shapes. Apparently, this is a skill they should have mastered by this age. How did I not know this, you ask? Because I don't pay attention to other kids/I have no idea what is an appropriate skill level for any given child/She's never been to pre-school/(insert any excuse for ignorance here). Needless to say, I was mortified when her teacher told me I needed to help her work on cutting; but WAY WORSE than that, my daughter was embarrased and frustrated that she couldn't do what the other kids were doing. Talk about a "bad-mama-slap" in the face! I really felt like I failed her by not teaching her more basic skills in the four precious years that I had her all to myself at home...I thought that playing tea party and Candyland was enough.
I have lots of comments:
1. I love DH, and I think that Moms that say that they don't like it either
a)have never watched it (because they heard it was bad)
or
b)are lying
2. I, too, remember watching this epidode and crying! It's so true - there are so many people that look like they have it all together, and it just gets so dang intimidating. I don't know why Moms feel the need to look like they have it all together...
3. With that said --- I totally know why they feel that way, and I was lying in #2. It's b/c if they act like they don't have it together, then they will undoubtedly run into that 'mompetitor' that makes them feel like a failure, like they are the world's worst Mom.
4. To those Moms out there, I'd like to say PLEASE GET REAL - Because I know better --- I know that you've got a drawer in your house that isn't organized, and you've fed your kids McDonalds on occasion, and you've been late to ballet, and you've left the house without make-up (and maybe even without brushing your teeth) --- and if you're like me, you've done that all in one day! :) and it's OKAY! It doesn't mean you're a bad Mom, it means you're a human --- and no one wants a robot for a Mom anyway.
I could go on and on about this -- So thankful for the friends in my life that aren't afraid to admit their shortcomings, they're wonderful people that I couldn't live without.
I've seen DH...but not regularly. I don't remember seeing this episode....but its so true! Holy crap do I hate those people who act like they've got it together. I'm related to one and would just love to be a fly in her life. Just for a few mins
This is totally one of my biggest soap box issues...I don't know why as women we feel like we have to one up every other mother on this planet. We should be helping each other, sharing secrets, tips, advice and by george letting people see our dirty houses. We all struggle and that is perfectly okay! We should be building each other up, NOT tearing each other down. With that said here is my dirtiest of laundry:
I once left my probably 2-3 month old (I don't even remember) in the car while I went in the store and shopped. It was TOTALLY by accident. I was taking care of my grandmother, was sleep deprived and smooth walked into the grocery store like I didn't even have a baby. I shopped for like 15 minutes, came back out and ONLY then realized that she was still in the car. I thanked God that it was not hot outside...it was a very cool morning and she slept through the whole thing but I did it. I love my children, would give my life for them and I left my daughter in the car! So, before we one-up every other mom and shame them for their parenting maybe we should all think about ourselves. Okay, stepping down from my soap box. Dana thanks for letting me share!
I love this post...have read my most recent confessions? I decided to start the New Year accepting who I am...very freeing.
http://collinsplus1.blogspot.com/2011/01/confessions-of-grown-woman.html
Considering that I just came out of year that I HATED! I really truly hated my life, your post rings so true. At times, I even felt I hated my kids. But the year is over and I actually enjoy them, now. Still wouldn't wish 3 kids in 2 years on ANYONE!
Oh girl! You are too funny! I know you probably know what I'm going to say because I think I am Lynette - or pretty close to it (with a few less kids and no secret drug addiction....yet,lol)- parenting is sooo hard! I have been wise enough to realize my limitations and never have been under the impression that I'm good at it. But its so nice to have this out there to remind us to support and love each other through this!!
Thank you!
No, no, no, no, NO. You got it all wrong!! *I'm* a bad Mom. If you listen to my children... I'm never there for them, don't ever buy them anything, don't do crafts...blah, blah, blah.
You, my friend, live in a castle, have the *coolest* van, give your children donuts for breakfast *every* day, play fun games with your kids and *BRUSH* their hair. I do believe you are confused. You meant to write that *I* am a bad Mom and that you were going to call DFCS as soon as you're finished with the sing a long that ya'll are doing! ;)
Seriously though...Motherhood is the hardest job ever, and it takes a LONG time before you get to see the results. Hang in there Momma!!
I'm sad I have never seen DH. It may become my newest addiction.
The two moms doing the comforting truly "look" like they have it more together than the one bawling her eyes out. I know I'm in the thick of it because their tiny little admissions would have given me no comfort.
Let's see, what can I confess...that I have been the bitch trying to hide it all and keep it all together. And damn well. As in yes there were drawers that were in NO way organized! Whole closets. whole rooms. I have nearly killed myself being sure my children watched no television, ate no take out, consumed little sugar. blah blah blah. If you've been around me five minutes you know I am little-fun-lotta-anal.
Go easy on the bitches. If you can't look them in the eye and give them a gift they desperately need then stay away from them. Maybe one day we will hit bottom and give it up!
Often I let my kids veg out in front of Sponge Bob and eat straight sugar filled snacks, so I can play on facebook. Sometimes I joke about it being a coping mechanisim, to keep me sane. Truth is, I'm addicted to facebook and need to get off my lazy butt and play more with my kids. Being a mother is the hardest job in the entire world. Along with the stress, is an equal amount of guilt. It's satan, ladies. We can't let him get to us! Easier said than done. I'll be praying for all of you tonight. We need to ban together more as Mothers. This job sure would be easier if we did. Love you, Dana! Thanks for being a great example to us, and helping to get us moving in the right direction.
Dana,
Thanks for doing this post. My son is ADHD and I homeschool. School is a struggle for us, sometimes taking twice as many hours as it should..... to the point I struggle with even wanting to do it some days. Right now, it's 10AM and I'm still in my PJ's because both kids had bad dreams and ended up being in my bed at some point in the night. The ADHD makes Mikey really hyper and impulsive...... so in some ways I still have two toddlers when he is having a really bad day. I decided to homeschool because I had this fear of my son being left behind in the school system (I saw it happening) and it broke my heart when they just told him he "wasn't smart". So I homeschooled. Now I'm afraid that I really don't know what I'm doing and it stresses me out that I don't have much time for my daughter, who is showing signs of being advanced (she's already picking up sight words at 29 mo) but I really don't have much time for her when I'm spending all my day between house work and lessons, so she sits in front of the TV watching Dora and Diego. We are also trying to pay off debt (which a large part is student loans which makes me feel guilty for since I'm not earning any money) so I feel putting her in MDO would take away from that goal.
So in the end you can say I relate. Thanks for posting this. God Bless you, dear. :)
A. I'm glad I'm not going to hell for watching Desperate Housewives (which Michael calls my "smutty show").
B. I remember being tearing up watching this when it came on TV. We all need to support each other, not critique or judge.
C. It's 10:37 a.m. and I'm still in my jammies and have a million other things that any better mom would be doing than reading blog posts on the computer!
It's me too...
OK. Here is my 2 cents...
Speaking as one of the mothers who KNOWS she does NOT have it together, I think it is not the other mom's fault that they SEEM to have it all together. Nobody wants to admit that they don't know what they are doing. It's like when we were in school, you got laughed at when the teacher called on you and you either answered wrong or worse, said you didn't know! We learn at a young age to LOOK like we have all the answers. I personally don't know anyone who would say,if asked, "Yeah. I am that good!" We all put on a "show" for others. It's not til you go to someone's house or really get to know them that you figure out... they are in the same boat as you! All that said, I have seen some moms who make it look SOOOOO easy. And I do wish I at least could fake it as well...but oh well. I guess my kids are going to grow up in a messy house, eat some things that are NOT good for them, not brush their teeth some nights because mommy is just too tired, etc. I guess I won't be the mom who has even the kitchen sink in her purse for any and all emergencies, I WILL be late to some special events and forget to sign the permission form, etc. But I KNOW, and more importanly, MY KIDS, will know that their mother loves them and would do anything humanly and sometimes inhumanly possible for them. All we can do at the end of the day is ask, "Are my kids loved? Do they know I love them?" I have as many if not more insecurities about being a mom than you do, because MY mom didn't see fit to ask those two questions. Be good to your kids,love them, help them,listen to them, kiss and hugs them. Trust me... when asked when they are adults if they had a good childhood and if their mom was a "good" mom, they will not be thinking about the messy house, or the burnt supper on Tuesday.
Now,my kids will be home in approx. 4 hours... anybody have some valium? lol JK!
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